60 Couples Questions to Ask Each Other

By Relationships editorial team · Updated October 26, 2026

Good couples questions are specific, open-ended and easy to answer honestly. The best ones start light and move toward deeper topics, so you both have time to relax. Below are 60 questions in six categories. Pick any, in any order, and take turns answering.

How to use these questions

1. Take turns. One person asks, both answer.
2. Listen first. Repeat back what you heard before you respond. "So you felt proud, and a little nervous?"
3. Skip freely. If a question does not feel right tonight, move on.
4. Don't fix. These are for understanding each other, not solving problems.
5. Keep it short. Ten to twenty minutes is plenty. Stop on a high note.

The idea of using structured questions to build closeness has some research behind it. A well-known 1997 study by Arthur Aron and colleagues found that pairs who took turns answering increasingly personal questions reported feeling closer afterward. You don't need a lab to benefit from the principle: curiosity, taking turns and gradual openness.

Fun and light (10 questions)

1. What was the best five minutes of your day?
2. If we could take a trip tomorrow with no planning, where would we go?
3. What is a food you could eat every week without getting tired of it?
4. Which movie or show do you want to rewatch with me?
5. What is the silliest thing we've done together?
6. If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?
7. What song reminds you of us?
8. What is something small that always makes you smile?
9. What would our dream lazy Sunday look like?
10. What nickname of ours is your favorite?

Getting to know you better (10 questions)

1. What is your warmest memory from childhood?
2. What was a turning point that shaped who you are?
3. What is something you were proud of this year that I may not know about?
4. Who has influenced you most, and why?
5. What did you want to be when you were ten?
6. What do you wish people understood about you?
7. When do you feel most like yourself?
8. What do you need more of in your life right now?
9. What was a hard time you got through, and what helped?
10. What is a habit you want to build?

Us as a couple (10 questions)

1. What is one thing I do that makes you feel loved?
2. What is your favorite memory of the two of us?
3. When did you first know you cared about me?
4. What do you think we do really well together?
5. What is something small I could do this week to make your life easier?
6. When do you feel closest to me?
7. What is one tradition you'd like us to start?
8. Is there anything you'd like us to talk about more?
9. What are we like when we are at our best?
10. How can I support you better when you are stressed?

Dreams and the future (10 questions)

1. Where do you picture us living in five years? In ten?
2. What is something you want in your life that you haven't said out loud?
3. What would you do if money were no object for a year?
4. What do you want our home to feel like?
5. What are we saving or planning for?
6. What would a good ordinary day look like in ten years?
7. What is one adventure you'd like us to take?
8. What do you want to learn or try?
9. What do you hope people say about us?
10. What would you like to be doing when we're older?

Values, family and money (10 questions)

1. What three values do you try hardest to live by?
2. What did you learn about money growing up?
3. Which family traditions do you want to keep, and which do you want to let go?
4. How much time with extended family feels right to you?
5. What does a fair split of household work look like?
6. What does financial security mean to you?
7. How do you like to make big decisions: fast or slow, alone or together?
8. What does faith, spirituality or meaning look like in your life?
9. How do you handle disagreements with the people you love?
10. How do you want to give back?

Affection and connection (10 questions)

1. What is a small gesture that makes your whole day better?
2. How do you like to be comforted?
3. How do you prefer to receive appreciation: words, time, notes, touch, help?
4. What does feeling close to me look like, apart from physical closeness?
5. What rituals help us feel connected?
6. When is the best time of day for us to talk?
7. What is a compliment that stays with you?
8. What do you need when you have had a hard day?
9. How can I show you I'm on your side?
10. What would you like more of in our everyday life?

Choosing the right question for the moment

Turn questions into a habit

One conversation can be fun. A habit is what changes a relationship. Try these:

• Keep a few questions on your phone or on cards on the table.
• Add one question to your regular weekly check-in.
• Use them on date nights at home.
• Before a big commitment, go deeper with questions to ask before marriage.
• If you feel distant, read how to reconnect with your spouse.

Ready-made questions with room to write

If you want these on paper, Closer — The Couples Workbook has 112 conversation questions in eight categories: hopes and dreams, childhood, money, family, fun and play, the future, affection and values. Each page leaves lines for notes, and a page after the questions helps you record what you learned. The bonus 365 Days of Connection gives you a short prompt for every day of the year with a theme for each month, and the Check-In Pocket Cards put weekly questions in your pocket. A Closer app with a Question Deck is included too.